I see you’ve found my site.
It’s not very good, you know.
In fact, I suggest you probably avoid reading it altogether.
Unless you like ridiculous rhymes.

And terrible puns.
And probably fart jokes.
You don’t like that stuff, do you?

No, I didn’t think so.

Although since you’re here, I suppose it would be okay if you read just one poem. Maybe one about murderous fruit. Or one about TV. Or one about eyebrows. I mean, whatever takes your fancy.

vector  retro tv set

If you wanted to, you could also take a look at my books. Go on, read the blurbs. You can even send me an angry email about how terrible they sound, if you like. Those are my favorite types of emails you know. I print them off and stick them on my refrigerator.

But really, you should probably leave. You’re wasting your time here. And before you know it, you’ll be reading about greedy rats and repulsive smells and burping competitions.

…don’t say you weren’t warned!


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